No One is Promised Tomorrow

My husband died a little more than three years ago. He had pancreatic cancer and lived for five years and two months.

At the first appointment at Sloan Kettering, with outstanding oncologist Dr Eileen O’Reilly, he asked how much time he had. Dr. O’Reilly said six months to five years.

At the five-year appointment, he said to Dr. O’Reilly, “it is now five years, so when do I die?” Not only was Dr. O’Reilly taken aback, but so was I. He died two months later. I now believe that he felt he had an internal expiration date. In his mind, he had exceeded it.

I could not write this until now. It was just too painful. He even died on the first day of the month so I would not have problems with prorating bills.

What made me able to write this blog post was an article in the Science Section of The, New York Times on June 30, 2026, “More Time is a Gift. But How to Use It?”

Most of us in life do not know if we or those we love are harboring unknown fatal illnesses, and think we have forever in front of us. We do not.

The advice given by Kate Dietrick, a stage four cancer patient, in The New York Times article, who was given five years to live, and is in her sixth year, is advice that everyone should follow.

Live life to its fullest every day. Make it a promise to yourself to complete those things in your life that are important to you sooner rather than later.

Spend more time with the ones you love than you think you have time for in your busy lives. Forgive your loved ones for any trespasses and lines they have crossed and pain they have caused. I promise you that you will feel more pain that you have not done that when they are gone, then dealing with the pain to do so in their lifetimes.

My Aunt Faye, an Auschwitz survivor, saved up her entire working career so that she could go around the world when she reached retirement age of 65. At age 65, she got lymphoma and died.

Aunt Faye was the impetus for my husband and me to complete our bucket list of seeing all the Wonders of the World sooner rather than later. There are so many wonders lists now, more got printed just as we thought we had finished all of them that exist and are in a somewhat safe place. We tried to finish by age 65, but did at age 70.

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 71.

The next piece of advice that Kate gave in that New York Times article was to prepare and get everything in order as you never know when you are going to die.

If you have not thought of funeral arrangements, it is usually the death of a parent that is the impetus to make them. My husband and I made those arrangements after my father died too young on September 1, 1989.  We were 43 years old, and our friends thought we were crazy. All we knew is that we didn’t want our children to be burdened with picking out a casket. From experience with others, we knew they would pick out the most expensive while in pain when we could be realistic in denial. Believe it or not, those costs don’t get cheaper.  We paid much less than half what those costs are now, and paid over time, at a time when we thought we had forever.

Kate Dietrick’s journey set forth in the New York Times article is worth reading. So is following her advice. Live today as though you might not have a tomorrow.

No one is promised a  tomorrow.

Best of luck and good health to you.

Mema