Death Cleaning is a Terrible Title but is a Real Thing

I have always heard about spring cleaning, and now that it is spring, I feel guilty not thinking about spring cleaning.  Then, ‘death cleaning’ appeared in my radar, and the first thing I thought of is that it is a terrible title!  But it is a real thing!

You get to a certain age and you start to automatically read obituaries.  It’s not that you’re anticipating death, it’s just that what those dead accomplished in their life becomes interesting.

In the New York Times, Obituaries section, March 16, 2026, appeared, “Margareta Magnusson, 91, Is Dead; Wrote of Cleaning Up Before Dying.” This title wasn’t better than the title of the book she wrote about death cleaning, less than 130 pages, considered both a memoir and a manual, “specific and strategic, “ title, yes “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.”

The idea of the book was not to burden those who will be left with the chore of cleaning up after you after you die, and, more important, sharing pieces of you and your life with other others while you are still alive.

I had never heard of this book that was released in 2018 and was a New York Times best seller published in more than 30 countries. I never heard that dictionary.com added the term “death cleaning” citing the book. But also, 10 years ago, it might not have drawn my interest, but it should have. Cleaning out is cleansing for the soul.

One of the best pieces of advice is to start your purge with forgotten items in cupboards and attics, rather than emotionally weighted photographs and letters that you might not get through.

Coincidentally, this week, after looking at a full cabinet that I had not opened in at least three years, I decided to see what was in there.  I found both. First, I found all of the medical records, notes, documents, reviews, test results related to my husband’s five year battle with pancreatic cancer. Those who know me know I am very detailed and compulsive of keeping records of everything. My husband died three years ago. It is time to put these past me. The items, after deleting private information, filled two giant black garbage bags. And it cleared out major space for me to fill, wonderful, as I consider myself personally not ready to face the prospect of “death” cleaning.

Next, I came across letters that I had written to my parents from Europe when I was 19 years old. I spent the next hours reading those letters and reliving those beautiful memories. The rest of the contents of the cabinet remain. I can honestly say I’m not ready for the next part of Ms. Magnusson’s process, of asking yourself will anyone I know be happier if I save this, and if the answer is no, to shred it.

I also found Holocaust documents related to my parents that I was convinced my brother had because I believed I had never seen them. Apparently, while I was in the throes of not being able to deal with anything about the Holocaust, I just shoved them in this cabinet. This is a treasure throve for me to be able to research family members murdered by the German Nazis, as I have then correct spellings of their names. So, you never know what you’re going to find in those cabinets that you haven’t opened in years. Great advice from Margareta Magnusson.

The next advice covered in The New York Times obituary is also great advice, how to initiate a conversation about death cleaning by adult children. “Is there anything we can do together in a slow way so that there won’t be too many things to handle later?” is the suggested question. As the elder here, next time the younger generation is around, I’m going to ask if I can have a few hours of help to go through some things, some of which you guys might want.  She said you might have to ask more than once to get the help that you need or if you’re the younger generation, to get the older generation to face that need.

 Margareta Magnusson suggested encouraging friends (and family) to come and find “treasures,” (my quotes) and when you’re giving them away, share the stories of how they came into your life with those you are giving them to. Even 10 years ago, hardcover books were difficult to give away, so she suggested inviting people over to look over titles you can do without.

Ms. Magnusson’s own words about death cleaning are the best to leave you to ponder:

“Remember that the process of death cleaning is ultimately in service of two larger points. To be less afraid of the idea of death, for it comes for all of us, and to remember that after you’ve death cleaned, no matter how ancient you become, there are always new discoveries, new mindsets through which to see your life and the experiences you have had.” It happened for me cleaning out the cabinet with

Joy,

Mema