Heirlooms Are Created: What are the Odds that Children and Grandchildren Want Their Parents’ and Grandparents’ Possessions?

I keep reading about how no one wants their parents’ or grandparents’ possessions upon their death. That everything that they collected and everything that was precious to them has no value to family upon their death.

What are the odds that children and grandchildren will want their parents’ or grandparents’ possessions?

According to a study by 1-800-GOT-JUNK?, and apparently there is such a thing, nearly half of Americans (48% to 49%) would rather inherit nothing at all than to sort through and deal with a dead relative's belongings. See, “Nobody Wants Your Stuff.”

An heirloom is an item or property of special or sentimental value that is handed down from one generation to the next.  The word combines heir (the person who inherits) and loom (an old word meaning a tool or piece of property). My husband and I believe desire for the property of a parent or grandparent must be created.

My husband and I love mid-century modern. It turns out that mid-century modern is classic. It is a specific taste and when friends come to our house, they typically either love it or hate it.

My husband and I loved telling the children and the grandchildren all about mid-century modern art, items, and furniture.  Sharing the experience of finding and collecting was a shared ritual and tradition. I had collected American antiques and my husband and I collected many possessions among our travels scattered around our home. We always shared the origin of the items, why and where they came from, and why we collected them. And sharing made a difference.

We started our grandchildren on collecting.  Our oldest, as a child, collected shells. Our youngest collects rocks.

I often tell the story about how when our oldest grandson was somewhere between two and three years old, I was walking him around our home, showing him the lithographs by modern artists. Being a two year-old or so,  he pointed at one of them that especially attracted him and said, “mine.” Now at the time, as he was the only grandchild, my husband and I said, of course, one day it will be yours. It is in our will that it will be his, and yes, he still wants it.

Our children and grandchildren are interested in our possessions because we shared how they are meaningful to us.  They now have meaning to our grandchildren. It  is joyful that I know that things that we love will continue to be loved by others in our family long after we are gone.

Our oldest grandson was the first who claimed a mid-century modern reproduction of a Le Corbusier LC4 chaise  lounge, designed in 1928. Yes, that too he still wants. We offered to buy him a reproduction of his own when he gets his own place. He said, “you keep the new reproduction. I want the one you sat in.”

Now, the next oldest grandson got into the act and has laid claim not only just some mid-century modern, but some American antiques and collectables.  His mother, our daughter, would have taken art she coveted ages ago if we didn’t love it too much to part with it before we both die.

My husband and I never thought it unique that our children or grandchildren want our possessions until it became a thing publicly and in lots of articles about no one wanting the possessions of the parents in the grandparents. See another article, for example, “Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents' Stuff,” 

Share stories about the possessions you value if you want your descendants to value them. A friend, a child of Holocaust survivors, said beloved to her family was a fish knife, which was the only possession that her family was allowed to take from their former home that was taken over by Poles when they returned from Siberia internment after the Holocaust.

We don’t know if it was the tradition and ritual we created in sharing our stories and happiness with our collections and collecting through our lifetime, but this grandma has always been about ritual and tradition creation with grandchildren. Monetary value does not matter. It is created sentimental value that makes the difference if it matters to you what happens to items you cherish after you are gone. Share with

Joy,

Mema