This Grandma’s Favorite New Tip About Hugging Grandchildren, and Additional Five Best Tips on Personal Touch For All Ages and For Health Based On Scientific Research

This Grandma’s favorite tip about hugs is that you should never be the first to let go when you are hugging your grandchild. I learned this recently, and I cannot remember the source. I have been trying it out.  Without exception, at first the grandchild keeps hugging, then the grandchild seems confused that you aren’t letting go, and finally the grandchild pushes you away. I seem to remember that the reason not to let go is to give the grandchild the sense that hugging them and not wanting to let go shows how much you cherish them. They should be the one to pull away first. As a grandmother, I can tell you that this tip is easy to follow and you will want to repeat it again and again.

I remembered the New York Times article, “Large Scientific Review Confirms the Benefits of Physical Touch” by Joanne Silberner, from  April 9, 2024.  My first thought was do you really need to study for that? But then again, it mentioned a large scientific review and I just learned a great new tip about hugging grandchildren. 

The article quotes published research released in the Journal Nature Human Behaviour.

Ms. Silberner says,

“Researchers from Germany and the Netherlands systematically reviewed years of research on touch, strokes, hugs and rubs. They also combined data from 137 studies, which included yearly 13,000 adults, children, and infants. Study compared individuals who have been physically touched in some way over the course of an experiment, or had touched an object like a fuzzy two similar individuals had not.”

This scientific compilation has validity ((accurately measuring what it is intended to measure) and reliability (consistent) to me. The following is important to me whenever I am reviewing studies:

1. A compilation from a large group of studies is worthy. Small study size or compilation of just a few studies versus one that uses data from 137 studies as this one.

2. The size of the body studied is important. A study that uses a few dozen people versus this compilation of 13,000.

3. The subjects are important. This compilation covers all age groups and varying health issues.

4. We should always try to go to the original studies rather than the secondary sources, so I try to review links to studies provided. One or another may be of interest to you, and I included them in this blog post.

   
   

What attracted me to the New York Times article was that although we know touch is healthy and wonderful and something we all need, having a compilation of so many studies gives us greater perspective, according to the author.  Here are my five best tips from reviewing this article:

First,

“ . . . .one very intriguing finding that needs further support is that newborn babies benefit more from their parents touch than a strangers touch…. Preference could be related to smell… the differences in the way parents hold them.”

TIP FOR NEWBORNS: One of the strategies to keep a newborn calm and comfortable I always used with my newborn grandchildren when helping out the parents was to have the mother of the newborn wear a large T-shirt and when I held the baby I would put on that T-shirt so that the newborn smelled me as their mother. I didn’t know about this study. It was just grandma instinct. 

And

“ . . . .women seem to benefit more from touch than men.“ And to be a benefit, massage needs to be consistent and regular.

TIP FOR WOMEN: A weekly or even monthly massage is a beneficial addition to an exercise routine.

And

“ Touching the head appears to have a more beneficial effect than touching the torso, some studies found…. It could have to do with a greater number of nerve endings on the face and scalp.” 

I tied this with two other results.

“That daily 20 minute gentle massages for six weeks for older people with dementia, decreased aggressiveness and reduced the levels of a stress marker in the blood.”

That foot massages and reflexology are significant stress relievers.

TIP FOR CAREGIVERS OF THOSE WITH DEMENTIA OR ALZHEIMER’S: How about combining gentle (“tactile massage is a soft massage”) head and foot massage for those with dementia or Alzheimer’s?

And

“ in 212 studies involving 12,966 individuals, researchers found strong evidence of the health benefits for adults who engaged in physical touch with other humans.” Physical touch not only provides the following benefits: decreasing the perception of pain,  decreasing cortisol levels (stress hormone) and improving sleep quality. Physical touch, importantly, releases oxytocin ("love hormone"), thus promoting feelings of comfort, security, and connection.

See, for example, 

TIP FOR GRANDCHILDREN:  Which grandparent among us does not rub or scratch the back, head, or arm of our grandchildren? For one, I use my long nails to scratch the heads or backs of my grandchildren. Every one loves the touch of my long nails and asks for their head or back or arm scratched. I guess my long nails have created my signature touch. Maybe we should all have a signature hug or touch with our grandchildren that they may remember with fondness?

TIP FOR ADULTS: We each have our physical challenges and our emotional challenges. I am taking this to heart at my Mah Jongg game today, I am going to hug each one of my Mah Jongg buddies and hope that they think it is pleasant to start the afternoon this way for connection and the reasons above. I hope my experiment does not end as the article does:

“ if someone doesn’t feel a touch is being pleasant, it’s likely going to stress them out.”

Hmm. Maybe I’ll have a better chance of winning, with

Joy,

Mema